Getting rid of it!

One of the things my doctor has been trying to teach me is how the vocabulary we use affects us subconsciously. The word "lose" mentaly implies something that has been "lost" and thus needs to be "found".

So when we say that we've "lost 2 pounds" our subconscious wants to "find" it. However true or not true this is, I like the idea. I've lost weight before, and I've found it again some time later. Boo :( This time, I'm getting rid of the weight, never to be found again!

Another of these examples is the word "try". My plan has been to walk during lunch. However, things come up, rain, work, other stuff.... So when my doctor asks me if I've been walking, I tell her "I'm trying to", she has told me that "trying" is an excuse for maybe not doing it. By saying I'm "trying" I'm already giving myself a way out. I will try, but that means I may or may not do it. Why "try", why not "do". So now I say that I "am walking". Yeah, there are days I don't, like yesterday when it was raining, but there are the majority of days I do. So I am walking. If I already have it in my head that I am "doing" it, than it's already there, it's part of the plan, it's part of my day, and I do it.

It's interesting to me how something as simple as the words we use can affect us. I'm not perfect at this. I know in this blog I mostly use the word "lost" in regards to my weight loss, I know I use the word "try" more than I should. However, it's something to keep in the back of my mind.

The words that I've changed that seem to be helping me change have been: Forgiveness, Gone, Do, OK, ME.

Forgiveness: It's okay to not be perfect in this journey. I will struggle and I will get back up and I will get there.

Gone: It's gone, the weight is gone, not lost. The clothes that I get too small for, my size 22 jeans, my size 20 jeans, GONE. Not kept in a corner or a drawer "just in case". Just in case of what? Gone... gone... GONE.

Do: Just do it. Yeah, it's corny, but it's true. I'm not trying to lose weight, I am losing weight. I'm not trying to be better, I am getting better. I'm not trying to be myself again, I am becoming myself again.

OK: I'm okay. I'm okay the way I am, I'm okay the way I was, and I'm certainly going to be okay in the future.

ME: I am who I am. That's all I can be. I'm not superwoman, I am me. Being me, is key and taking care of me is the answer. Putting "ME" at the top of my priority list, it's a first but it's necessary to even have my son as #2. I can't care for him if I'm not taking care of myself. My son as #2? That almost hurts to write. However, myself as #1, it has to be for everything else to work.

Oh, and after all my rambling (remember, I hate writing!), I weighed myself today. 223 lbs. I've lost 27 lbs and I'm 2 lbs from my goal for Monday. I don't even know if our hotel has a scale :) I'm happy. That's what matters.

Tuesday Weigh-In

Okay. Here goes. I weighed in today for my weekly check-in.

226

Argh!! I was 225.5 last week. Yes, that's not a big deal. Especially if you consider we were at a party this weekend and I let go a little bit.

I weigh myself every morning, but I only count Tuesday morning for tracking purposes. (I'm thinking of switching this to Thursday or Friday morning but I'm not sure.)

I know what I weighed before the party, 225, I know what I weighed the day after the party, 226.5 and I know what I weighed today after two days back on track, 226. So am I upset? I think I was a little bit, but I'm not now.

Why? Because I know what my body is doing now. One of the reasons I got to where I am now with my weight is I didn't know my body. I would have a weekend like this last one and I'd go a little overboard. And what would I do? I'd stress about what I'd gained. I'd worry I'd gained like 2 or 3 pounds. I had messed up. How did I know about this weight gain? I didn't. I didn't weight myself. I was guessing. Then I'd end up in the downward spiral that would leave me slightly depressed and I would find it difficult to get "back on track" the next day. This would double the trouble if not worse.

Now I realize, it's one day. My body will bounce back. I didn't gain 3 pounds, I gained 1 1/2 pounds. But is that really how much? Could I gain 1 1/2 pounds in 24 hours? Not really, not with what I ate. It's water weight, it's salt, it's wine, it's staying up too late.

So I gained, I'm okay with it. For the first time in a long time, weight gain isn't bothering me, it's causing me to look back at what I ate and why the scale says what it says.

I'm not going to put my life on hold so I can lose weight, I'll change it, but I'm still going to have fun, still going to have pizza, still going to have the occasional cocktail. AND... I'm still going to lose weight.

Monday, Monday, Monday...

I have been attempting to do an all veggie and fruit day on Mondays as a sort of cleanse. No salt, no additives, no coffee, no wine, just fruit and veggies. I thought easy... no... it's hard.

It's easy during the apple and berries with breakfast and the water with lemon on the side. It's easy as I munch celery around 10am. It was harder for lunch. A salad with bunch of fruit with lemon juice on it. The fruit ended up adding that something extra that I was missing from the salad dressing. I made sure to have avocado in it since it keeps you full longer. Then at 3pm, it was hard. I wanted a pieces of cheese, a piece of meat, even a rice cake. A rice cake! I was craving a rice cake, had it really come to that? I started this four weeks ago. I did fine the first Monday. I did ok the second Monday. Last Monday I couldn't get past 3pm before I caved. I still tracked everything in weight watchers, even after the "cave" it was good for me.

What did I learn? A day of all veggies and fruit can be good for you. A good way the cleanse. Am I the type of person that can do this? Yes. Do I want to? No. Why? The more I deprive myself of something the more I want it. The reason I like Weight Watchers is it teaches that anything is okay in moderation. I can have pizza for dinner if I ate appropriately for lunch. I don't "crave" as much as I use to because I know I could always have it later, on a better day, on a day off, after my next goal.

I figured that was a good step, I'd gotten to the point where I was craving a rice cake, not a cookie, a rice cake.

Yeah for progress.

Keep you fingers crossed, I weigh myself tomorrow. This past weekend I went up a little, I think due to water retention from some salty food. Let's hope that it and more is gone tomorrow morning. I've got goals to meet!