Been a while...

Ok, I know it's been a while. I need to get back into blogging daily (or as close as I can) about my journey and my weight loss.

Here I am today


I was actually at 203.5 on Sunday. I really want to hit or get under 200 by my birthday, 2/6. I think I can do it, just need to stick to my guns.

When I look back at 2010, I lost pretty close to 50 pounds. I could have lost more, I probably should have, but I lost 50 pounds. I weigh so much less, look so different, feel more confident. It's 50 freaking pounds, that I am no longer carrying around on my body. Insane. A few more pounds and I've lost two of my son's weight. Crazy.

I am still in a size 16, but can fit into some of my old size 14 clothes.

I am working out on the elliptical 3-6 days a week. I try everyday, but then there are late nights or something happens and I get about 5 in. I've worked out every day since Saturday so far.

I downloaded the NutriSystem App to my phone to help me track my weight, water and exercise, I love it, and easy.

On the elliptical, it has these pre-set workouts. 20 minutes that burns 275 calories. I'd been doing that but moved to the 30 minute workout last week. I burn 550 calories on that one, wow! It's kicking my behind, but in a good way and is only getting easier.

I'm finally moving on from my miscarriage. I wasn't healing like I should and ended up needing a D&C on 12/23 which sucked. However, it did the trick and my body has finally moved on and healed.

I think that's all for now. Perhaps I'll get brave and post a picture at some point.

So.... finally ready to say it...

Bad news:
I'm not pregnant anymore. We went in for our 8 week ultrasound and there was no heartbeat. I was devastated. First miscarriage. I took the medication for the miscarriage last Thursday night since it wasn't happening on it's own. I'm hoping to be pregnant again soon. I'm trying to look on the positive side of things, whatever side that is. I can continue to lose weight, and can get in better shape. We got our elliptical the day after we found out so I've been using that and feeling really good.

Good news:
Getting rid of more weight!



Yeah! I am down to 207.5. During the few weeks I was pregnant, it dropped to 208 then after the m/c it jumped up to 214. I fell off the wagon for a bit there and just didn't care. I then stopped and thought, crap.... this will be the end if I can't stop this. So I did. I'm back down to 207.5, fairly quickly. I think a lot of the weight had to do with the m/c and that's why it went down so quickly. Whatever the case may be, it's down. Plus I'm trying to do 20 min a day on the elliptical. My husband told me that I should try for 5 days not 7. I told him if my goal i 7, I'll do 5. I'll naturally miss days, like Wednesday night when I got invited to a girls night last minute and got home after 10pm. But then there are nights like last night that while my son is eating dinner, I can jump on an do 20 minutes.

We got the elliptical from Costco and I'm loving it. It has the iFit technology, which I'm not using yet, but will. iFit are little memory cards you can stick in the machine with pre-setup workouts. However, before I get those, the machine has a few workouts already set-up. There are two based on calorie goals, 275 and 525 (i think). I've been doing the one for 275 calories in 20 min. It automatically changes the resistance and tells me the goal for the rpm so I'm running hard, then medium, then hard... it's great. Love it.

I think my next item to wish for is a weight set.

I'm so excited that I've almost gotten rid of 50 pounds! FIFTY POUNDS! Holy Cow! That sounds insane! My son is 27 lbs so it will almost be like two of him. And he feels heavy just one of him.

I'm finally starting to feel smaller when I look in the mirror. I even had to go out and buy new underwear. I'm hoping to hit the 50lb mark by the end of the year, or by the middle of the December. (Unless I'm pregnant!) :)

Long time no.... anything...

So it's been a while, and a few things are going on. First...

I weighed in at 209.5 yesterday!!! Woo hoo!! I am so excited.

Second...

Yeah... pregnant... I'm sooooo excited. Right now, I'm due June 8th, 2011.

I was so nervous at first. I was so excited to be pregnant, but so frustrated that was just getting going on this weight loss. So I called up my doc who helped me with the weight loss. She said, eat like I have. Eat healthy, eat well. If I gain, oh well; if I lose, oh well; if I maintain, oh well. I need to be prepared to be ok with whatever happens. I have a new OB and he right out told me nope. You need to gain 20-25 pounds then start the weight loss over. WHAT? Are you kidding me? I just lost 41 pounds. So I'm going to keep doing what I'm doing and my body will do what it will do.

I've already lost like 3 or 4 pounds. I was 215 at the doctors two weeks ago. I go in again on Wednesday so we'll see what he says. I've had morning sickness and can't keep full meals down. BLAH. I already have heartburn. I didn't have ANYTHING with my son so this is ALL new. Hopefully that means girl??? We'll know in about 9-13 weeks! I'm 7 weeks as of yesterday.

More to come!

213.5 again

I weighed myself today. I am still at 213.5. I am fine with that, better than 215 again! :) I'm still holding out that I will be 210 the morning of our flights next thursday.... we'll see.

It's been hot where I live so I've been wearing more skirts and dresses at work. I think I've worn fatty jeans and a fatty top everyday for the two years I've worked here. My boss came in and saw me in a skirt today for the first time and mentioned that I looked good and looked good in a skirt. That she doesn't see me in skirts and dresses much and it looked nice. That felt nice. I'm starting to fit into clothes that I haven't even looked at in 3 years. My mom this morning even commented that she's enjoying seeing clothes on me she hasn't seen in a while.

She went shopping with me this weekend. For the first time in ages I wasn't shopping at Lane Bryant or the plus side of Fashion Bug. I was at Macy's, in the regular section, looking at regular clothes. I found some cargo pants for our plane trip in a size 16 and a pair of longer shorts in the same style in a size 16. They fit great. My mom was impressed, I was happy. I bought a beautiful blue dress that I'm going to take with me as well.

I can't wait for my in-laws to see me and see how much weigh I've gotten rid of. I do hope I can say "40 lbs" when they ask how much. But "just about 40" is good enough :)

This is going to be a fun trip :)

I know I shouldn't...

but I weighed myself again today.

I weighed in today at 213.5. So it seems that every 5 or 10 pounds I hit a plateau and then once I get off of it, I lose quite a bit. I feel good. On my way to getting to 210 by Sept. 9th!!!

Feeling good

Despite not losing as much weight lately as I would have wanted I'm still down half a pound. I'm not surprised though. We have been so crazy busy I wouldn't have been surprised if I'd been up 2 or 3 pounds. I'm actually down 1 1/2 pounds from my last post. It seems like every 5 or 10 pounds I hit a plateau and then it takes a bit of time then I charge past it. I didn't get here overnight so I know it will take a while. My husband told me I'd have an elliptical by November so I'm excited. I think I'm getting to the point where I'll need more exercise than just walking to get more weight off. So I'm at 214.5 as of this morning. We go to visit my husbands family on September 9th and I'd LOVE to be at 210. That's a little under 3 weeks to lose 4.5 pounds. I think I can do it. I should be able to get rid of 3-6 pounds so it's no unrealistic.

Clothes: So I started this journey in my massive size 22's. My lovely husband took me out shopping this weekend for some new pants that aren't the one's I've storing away for "if I ever lose weight". I tried on 18's to be safe and they were too big!!! Yippie! So I picked up a new pair of size 16 jeans. Then found this cute pair of black and brown pants that were perfect in a size 16. They were all on clearance so it was perfect as we haven't wanted to buy too much as we are losing. But I've only been wearing jeans and nice tops to work since I've balloned so it's nice to have some different pants to wear besides jeans!

So I thought I'd check in and voice my thoughts. Next stop... 210 pounds!

Blah

After what felt like a great week, I'm up 1/2 a pound back to 216. Of course it's "that time of the month" so I have a feeling I'm weighing in with some extra unwanted bloat. I am really encouraged to get to 200. I just have to watch what I'm eating and pay attention. I had a nice salad for lunch today with some tuna salad on it and I am soooo full. Icky full. But it's a nice change to feel icky full from salad then something bad for me.

My husband and I are working to save up for an elliptical. He's guaranteed me we'll have one by November. I'm super excited!!! We've had some unusual expenses with surgeries, dog training, etc that just keep putting the things we want but don't necessarily "need" right now off. I can't wait to get it though and start exercising... I can only do so much walking!

Almost

So last night, I was craving a good old fashion spaghetti dinner. So I made a ground lean turkey meat sauce with spaghetti. So yummy. I added some red wine in and just let is simmer for about 30 minutes. It's a been a while since I've made it and it wasn't my best, but it was yummy.

And against my better judgment and my new rule that I wasn't going to do it, I weighed myself this morning. I still lost another 1/2 pound (got rid of I mean!). So I'm at 215.5 pounds and have gotten rid of 34.5 pounds.

I just started typing 24.5 and that seemed right. But then I thought no, it's more, no it's not. It's not almost 40 pounds, that's not right. Then I realized yes, it is. I'm down almost 40 pounds.

Think I can get rid of that next 5.5 pounds by Labor Day? The week after that is when we go to visit my husband's family. They haven't seen me since before Christmas, WAY before losing weight. We leave 6 weeks from yesterday. TECHNICALLY, I could get rid of 2 lbs a week for a total of 12 pounds. However I'm not putting that on me... I'd like to between 205 and 210 when we go, that's reasonable. We shall see.

Thursday Check-in

Woo hoo! 34 pounds gone! I'm feeling so encouraged and so excited about this journey. When I was pregnant with my son, I dropped to 216 lbs, but went back up again as the pregnancy progressed. Except for that, I don't think I've been at 216 for about 4 years.

I am feeling comfy today in my size 16 Gloria Vanderbilt jeans. I'm begging my husband to get my bin of "too small" clothes and jeans out of the garage so I can go "shopping". I'm curious to see what I can find to fit into. I found another size 16 jeans by Mossimo. I can't quite fit into those, plus they appear to ride much lower, they might be a lost cause :)

So... I'm excited...

BMI changes

I just realized that my BMI is dropping (obviously with the change in weight it will). However, I only recently started using the tracking system that shows my BMI so I went back to see what it was when I started.

At 250 lbs my BMI was 39.2
As of today at 217.5 lbs it is 34.1

It's decreased by over 5! Wow.

To put it in perspective....

At my goal of 150 lbs, it would be 23.5.

BMI Categories are as follows:

BMI Categories:

• Underweight = under 18.5
• Normal weight = 18.5–24.9
• Overweight = 25–29.9
• Obesity = BMI of 30 or greater

So I'm still in the Obesity range, but at 191 pounds I would have a BMI of 29.9, officially NOT obese, just Overweight. At 159 lbs it will be 24.9 and I'll be an official "normal weight".

Just interesting to see where my weight falls in "medical terms".

Checking-in

So we went to a friends house this past weekend and as I was leaving the room to go to the restroom, I overheard my husband telling our friends I was losing weight and say that I was onto losing almost 50lbs. 50 Pounds! Wow! To even realize that is my next logical step is insane. Of course I'm taking it 5lbs at a time. I'm down to 217.5 and I'm so excited.

I'm in a baggy size 18 or a semi-tight (but comfy) size 16. If I wear an 18, it's practically falling off within a few house. If I wear a 16 like I am now, they are just a tad tight but don't get too lose. AND to prove to myself that I wasn't just fitting in the size 16 because I had stretched them out in the past, I bought a new pair. Fit fine :) Yeah!

So my ultimate goal for 2010? Is this...

Or a version of this. I wore a dress almost similar (it might be this one) as a bridesmaid dress for my brother's wedding in 2005. I had lost about 15 or 20 pounds after buying it so I had to have it taken in, majorly! I believe if I can get to 190, I might be able to fit into it. I can't remember the exact weight I was at when I wore it. If I can reach my goal of 200 by my son's 2nd birthday in the middle of October, I should be able to do this by Christmas. Wouldn't this be a fun dress for a Christmas party??? I figure some more tangible goals would be helpful.

I also realized that one of the pairs of jeans I have hanging in my closet as "goal jeans" is a size 16, so I'm going to try them on tomorrow morning.

You want to know another secret? I'm in the middle of the tww. Don't know what that stands for? It's the two week wait. Don't know what that means? It's the two week wait to see if Aunt Flo comes. Yep.... I'm waiting. I'm due this Saturday, no pressure, it happens or it doesn't. If I'm pregnant, wonderful, I'm over the moon (but all goals are shot to hell). If I'm not pregnant, it gives me more time to get rid of more weight before getting pregnant. Oh and, with four girls born to friends and family this year, I'm ready for a little girl. I'm ready for another baby.

Oh, and another secret that would make being pregnant even easier, my dear husband got a fatty raise and bonus structure. We are again, over the moon with excitement.

Wish me luck...

Thursday Check-in

I weighed in today, Thursday, at 218 pounds! Woo hoo! I've gotten rid of 32 pounds. I still can't believe it. I've been doing really well, watching what I eat and being good :) I'm still not exercising regularly but I'm doing what I can when I can. Monday night I went on an hour and a half walk with the hubby and my son. It was nice to get out of the house together and hubby even bought me a coffee when we got into town. The wind picked up on the way back, but I think we all had fun getting out of the house.

I'm a little worried about my hubby. He was losing weight and doing really well when he was on this fundraising program. However now that it's over, he's not doing as well. He works really hard and he actually works out (basketball). He's not my problem to fix, I am the only thing I have control over. We are in the talks of another "Biggest Loser" competition, so we'll see what happens.

Anyways, except for this stupid cold that is trying to destroy me, I'm feeling good about this journey. I feel more "me" than I have in a long time. That's the point right?

New Goal

I updated my goal section over there ----->

Date I met Goal #1, and added Goal #2.

I feel rejuvenated with this. I know I'll do this, it will take a while, and will take many mini-goals, and there will be many ups and many downs, a few gains (not many), and a lot of loses, but in the end.... I know that I'm finding me again :)

Woo hoo, did it! I'm under 220!!! I weighed in today at 219.5 pounds!! I've gotten rid of 30.5 pounds. I can't believe it. When I went in to weight myself this morning I told my husband, wish me luck, I need to get rid of .5 pounds to hit a loss of 30. I came back out and told him I hadn't lost 1/2 pound, he was sympathetic till I told him I'd lost 1 pound! Yeah!!

I'm so glad to be past this plateau and moving on to the next mini-goal. I think I'll make it 40 lbs, just stay with the tens. I don't know if I want to set that for the end of July, last time I did that I didn't succeed. I think 6 weeks would be good. That would be August 13th (when we go camping) to have gotten rid of 40 lbs total. Can I do it? I think I can. I am only 20lbs from being half way there!!!! So this new goal would get me to 210 lbs. It's been A LONG time since I've been at 210. This is going to be great! :)

There is light at the end!

There just may a light at the end of this plateau tunnel I was stuck in the entire month of June. I weighed in again this morning at 220.5. Pretty considering I was at a pizza restaurant for a friends birthday party last night. I had two pieces of pizza and that was it. It's funny, I don't think I could have eaten another piece if I had wanted to. I can't seem to eat the same amount now, and that's a good thing.

Before this diet, I would eat my meal, probably over eating already by the time I even felt full. But then, because it was there, I would try to eat a little more and end up stuffed and feel icky. I can't even get half way through what I use to do and I feel full, and forget just getting those last few bites in! Ugh.

I've been having salads or soups for lunch at work (among a few other things) but today I wanted to have something different. I went and got a chicken burrito from next door. YUMMY, always! Slow cooked chicken, with rice and some salsa, that's it. I usually split it with a coworker but thought I'd have half for lunch and the rest for dinner. I could barely get through that half. And once I did, I feel ewww sick. So full and gross.

I guess that's how I know I'm changing my eating habits. Progress baby!

Losing again

So I'm back. The whole month of June seemed like a waste for my weight loss. I just hit 220.5 and I was so frustrated.

There's where I'm at. I'm 1/2 a pound from getting rid of 30lbs. Wow.

So what's been going on that got me stalled? I don't know, I thought I was doing everything right. I'm walking (not every day) and I'm eating well. I think it all started with Memorial Day weekend, then another party the next weekend, then Father's day weekend. I kept bouncing all over the place. 224, 221, 223, 222, it was ping pong ball on the scale. I talked with my doctor who thought it was all in my head. This whole weight loss so far has been more about getting it right in my head than anywhere else. I have the tools, I know what to do, but I wasn't doing them. I feel that I'm back on the right track and ready to get past the 220lb mark and onto the next mark (not sure what that is yet). Maybe that's been my problem, no direction? Hmmm

So I am keeping track of what I eat using WeightWatcher's online tools. It's really helpful. However lately, I haven't been eating all of my points. Food seems to have taken on a different thing for me of more of a fuel need than just a "stuff it in my face" need (whatever that is). If I get hungry (like I am a bit now at 4pm) I normally would have eaten just about anything, but I'm thinking more of something to get me through to dinner time. Some cottage cheese, a cheese stick, yogurt, something of that sort. While eating higher protein foods, I'm finding it keeps me full longer and I'm not that hungry later. I've actually skipped dinner a few (more than a few times to be honest) because I'm not hungry. I know that's not good, but it's not like I'm 98 pounds and starving here. Food is fuel isn't it? If I'm not hungry should I still eat a full meal?

Some of the things that I've been loving that get me through the day:

Microwavable cup of soup (Lite veggie, veggie pasta) with a 1/4 of an avocado cut up and put in after it heats. (It makes me think of the Tortilla soup at El Toritto, mmmm) The avocado fills me up and it's yummy.

Frozen Edamame beans. 1 to 1 1/2 cups with a little salt, mmmm, so yummy.

Salad with tomatoes, red onion, some avocado, cucumber and spray salad dressing. Depending on what else I'm eating with it, if nothing, I'll put a little tuna salad on the side, 1/4 cup for protein.

Veggie patty with two slices of cheese on top. (I will sometimes have this with the soup, it's a good 5 point meal)

Cottage cheese (2%) with fruit for breakfast

Cheese stick

Rice cakes (I will be buying stock in these before this diet is over!!!!) Great when I feel like I want to eat, but I'm not really hungry. It gets me past that hump that in the past would have derailed me. There are a lot of times I want to eat even though I'm not hungry, but I'm learning to identify if I'm hungry or not and what to do about it.

Pickles... just mmmm, love pickles (and no, I'm not pregnant)

Well, hopefully I hit 220 this week. I'll be posting more often.

I'm back

Believe it or not, Blogger canceled my account since they thought I was spam. Duh, don't blame them, no name. Oh well, I'm back....

Yoyo-ing

I'm a yoyo-ing fool!



No, not that kind. The weight kind. I weigh myself every day. This is so that I know how my body reacts to the different things I eat, don't eat, exercise, don't exercise, sleep, stress, whatever. I only track my weight once per week in weight watchers. So a few things have happened. In weighing myself every day, I see it go up and down, up and down. I've been frustrated. But then I go to track it in WW (Weight Watchers) and it's the same as the week before. Technically, I have been maintaining for two weeks. That's pretty good considering we had to major event weekends in a row. I can't count the weigh-ins between the check-in dates. I can, but I shouldn't. My weight can fluctuate +/- 2 pounds all in a week. So I was so frustrated Wednesday, but I've wrapped my brain around it again, and feel much better. Plus it helps I hit 221.5 today. Yeah. I seem to hit a snag just as I'm hitting another 10lbs gone. I struggled at 18lbs for a while before I hit 20lbs. I'm at the same point. I'm struggling at 28 before I'll hit 30. I want to hit 30lbs really bad.

So a few positives. For the first time in my life, I'm distinguishing the difference between I'm eating because I'm "Hungry" versus because I'm "bored, stresses, etc.". Yesterday was a good example. I'm eating more high protein foods, which keeps me fuller. However I found myself wanted to eat yesterday but when I thought about it, I was not hungry, maybe even full. I went to our work kitchen and nothing looked "good" but at the same time, I had this desire to munch. So I pulled out the rice cakes. I know already that rice cakes are going to be my crutch through the majority of this weight-loss journey. They are 30 calories, no fat, for 1 of them. I can munch on two for 1 point. They can be filling and definitely satisfies the "fake hunger" I'm experiencing. There are times I know I'm not hungry but I'll have a little snack anyways, but the difference now is that I'm aware of it. I'm not just stuffing food into my mouth absentmindedly.

Negative: Because I'm becoming more aware of my hunger signs, I'm tempted to not eat if I'm not "hungry". I mean why? If I'm home, baby is asleep, and it's time for dinner, if I'm not hungry, why eat? I start to feel like if I do I'm adding calories that aren't necessary. I'm not hungry, why eat? In a strange way, I'm taking advice from my 20 month old. We were told early on from our doctor that at this age, when it comes to quantity of food, they know best. They don't "know" how to over stuff themselves. Sometimes he'll eat like it's going out of style and sometimes, just a little bit. And that's fine. He's listening to his body and eating if he's hungry and not so much if he's not hungry. Why am I any different? However, I've found myself not eating dinner a few nights this week.

Is this bad? Am I going down a bad path? I'm not anorexic, far from it. I'm not starving to death. Dinner use to be the biggest meal of the day for me, now it's lunch time. I have a high-protein breakfast like oatmeal, cottage cheese or yogurt. I'm having for lunch a lean cuisine, soup with added avocado for protein, or a salad with 1/4 - 1/2 cup of tuna salad. My snacks throughout the day are rice cakes, cottage cheese, 1 or 2 mini peppermint patties (yum), cheese stick, edamame, marinated veggies or some light coleslaw. Dinner has been salad, soup (homemade), nothing, or an actual dinner I made. I don't think I'm going down a bad path, I think I'm creating a new path that I've never been down before.

I'm still in my size 18 jeans, I'm dying to get into my 16's. I'm so close. I can get them on, but they are tight. That would probably only last 30 minutes but that's not the point. I want to put them on a feel good, feel comfy.

I'm still walking at lunch. Some days, like yesterday, I don't make it out. It was too windy, plus we have relay for life this weekend and I'll be walking a lot.

Weight: 221.5
Pant Size: 18 (baggy)
Attitude: Positive
Mood: Tired

Post Memorial Day Weekend Post

So I'm back. We had a wonderful weekend away from home. My son did wonderful on the trip up and we played, visited, ate, drank, and played in the pool. It was his first time in the pool, a little scary for him, but he did a great job.

I did much better with my food than I thought I would. I tried to order salads, fish, vegetables and just some more healthy alternatives than I normally would have gotten on this trip. I think only one dinner did I get a pasta dish and it was so rich I didn't finish half. That was my other goal, not to finish. It helps when I have my son right there and I'm juggling feeding him, occupying him and trying to feed myself. I walked, we moved, and we went swimming (briefly).

I had purchased a new swimsuit, a "dress suit". It's like having a little skirt on over your suit. This one actually.

Cute right? It covers some of the more embarrassing parts and definitely helped me to feel more confident. When I told my husband that I'd go in the water with our son, he was shocked, me in the water? I think he was a little proud. Plus I needed him to help distract and entertain our little boy who was a little nervous about this "really big bath tub".

Anyways, after the holiday weekend, I was very curios to get on the scale to see the damage done. I've never been so eager to jump on a scale.

Tuesday morning: 225 - Argh! But I was okay, that was my high range of "ok". I realized I didn't eat that bad, there is no way. I know I didn't drink enough water and I'm at "that time of the month". So I'll eat well on Tuesday and see what Wednesday morning brings me.

Wednesday morning (official weigh-in day): 223

Wheww.... that's better. I gained 1 pound over a 4-day holiday weekend. I'm happy with that. I didn't reach my goal of 221 by June 1st. But did I really think I'd lose 1 pound over the holiday? No. Could I have, Yes. Am I "ok" with the outcome? YES YES YES>

So this weeks weight, 223 with 27 pounds lost. Onwards and upwards people!

222

That's all I have to say.

222 lbs

as of this morning. I'm skipping inside :)