Losing again

So I'm back. The whole month of June seemed like a waste for my weight loss. I just hit 220.5 and I was so frustrated.

There's where I'm at. I'm 1/2 a pound from getting rid of 30lbs. Wow.

So what's been going on that got me stalled? I don't know, I thought I was doing everything right. I'm walking (not every day) and I'm eating well. I think it all started with Memorial Day weekend, then another party the next weekend, then Father's day weekend. I kept bouncing all over the place. 224, 221, 223, 222, it was ping pong ball on the scale. I talked with my doctor who thought it was all in my head. This whole weight loss so far has been more about getting it right in my head than anywhere else. I have the tools, I know what to do, but I wasn't doing them. I feel that I'm back on the right track and ready to get past the 220lb mark and onto the next mark (not sure what that is yet). Maybe that's been my problem, no direction? Hmmm

So I am keeping track of what I eat using WeightWatcher's online tools. It's really helpful. However lately, I haven't been eating all of my points. Food seems to have taken on a different thing for me of more of a fuel need than just a "stuff it in my face" need (whatever that is). If I get hungry (like I am a bit now at 4pm) I normally would have eaten just about anything, but I'm thinking more of something to get me through to dinner time. Some cottage cheese, a cheese stick, yogurt, something of that sort. While eating higher protein foods, I'm finding it keeps me full longer and I'm not that hungry later. I've actually skipped dinner a few (more than a few times to be honest) because I'm not hungry. I know that's not good, but it's not like I'm 98 pounds and starving here. Food is fuel isn't it? If I'm not hungry should I still eat a full meal?

Some of the things that I've been loving that get me through the day:

Microwavable cup of soup (Lite veggie, veggie pasta) with a 1/4 of an avocado cut up and put in after it heats. (It makes me think of the Tortilla soup at El Toritto, mmmm) The avocado fills me up and it's yummy.

Frozen Edamame beans. 1 to 1 1/2 cups with a little salt, mmmm, so yummy.

Salad with tomatoes, red onion, some avocado, cucumber and spray salad dressing. Depending on what else I'm eating with it, if nothing, I'll put a little tuna salad on the side, 1/4 cup for protein.

Veggie patty with two slices of cheese on top. (I will sometimes have this with the soup, it's a good 5 point meal)

Cottage cheese (2%) with fruit for breakfast

Cheese stick

Rice cakes (I will be buying stock in these before this diet is over!!!!) Great when I feel like I want to eat, but I'm not really hungry. It gets me past that hump that in the past would have derailed me. There are a lot of times I want to eat even though I'm not hungry, but I'm learning to identify if I'm hungry or not and what to do about it.

Pickles... just mmmm, love pickles (and no, I'm not pregnant)

Well, hopefully I hit 220 this week. I'll be posting more often.

I'm back

Believe it or not, Blogger canceled my account since they thought I was spam. Duh, don't blame them, no name. Oh well, I'm back....

Yoyo-ing

I'm a yoyo-ing fool!



No, not that kind. The weight kind. I weigh myself every day. This is so that I know how my body reacts to the different things I eat, don't eat, exercise, don't exercise, sleep, stress, whatever. I only track my weight once per week in weight watchers. So a few things have happened. In weighing myself every day, I see it go up and down, up and down. I've been frustrated. But then I go to track it in WW (Weight Watchers) and it's the same as the week before. Technically, I have been maintaining for two weeks. That's pretty good considering we had to major event weekends in a row. I can't count the weigh-ins between the check-in dates. I can, but I shouldn't. My weight can fluctuate +/- 2 pounds all in a week. So I was so frustrated Wednesday, but I've wrapped my brain around it again, and feel much better. Plus it helps I hit 221.5 today. Yeah. I seem to hit a snag just as I'm hitting another 10lbs gone. I struggled at 18lbs for a while before I hit 20lbs. I'm at the same point. I'm struggling at 28 before I'll hit 30. I want to hit 30lbs really bad.

So a few positives. For the first time in my life, I'm distinguishing the difference between I'm eating because I'm "Hungry" versus because I'm "bored, stresses, etc.". Yesterday was a good example. I'm eating more high protein foods, which keeps me fuller. However I found myself wanted to eat yesterday but when I thought about it, I was not hungry, maybe even full. I went to our work kitchen and nothing looked "good" but at the same time, I had this desire to munch. So I pulled out the rice cakes. I know already that rice cakes are going to be my crutch through the majority of this weight-loss journey. They are 30 calories, no fat, for 1 of them. I can munch on two for 1 point. They can be filling and definitely satisfies the "fake hunger" I'm experiencing. There are times I know I'm not hungry but I'll have a little snack anyways, but the difference now is that I'm aware of it. I'm not just stuffing food into my mouth absentmindedly.

Negative: Because I'm becoming more aware of my hunger signs, I'm tempted to not eat if I'm not "hungry". I mean why? If I'm home, baby is asleep, and it's time for dinner, if I'm not hungry, why eat? I start to feel like if I do I'm adding calories that aren't necessary. I'm not hungry, why eat? In a strange way, I'm taking advice from my 20 month old. We were told early on from our doctor that at this age, when it comes to quantity of food, they know best. They don't "know" how to over stuff themselves. Sometimes he'll eat like it's going out of style and sometimes, just a little bit. And that's fine. He's listening to his body and eating if he's hungry and not so much if he's not hungry. Why am I any different? However, I've found myself not eating dinner a few nights this week.

Is this bad? Am I going down a bad path? I'm not anorexic, far from it. I'm not starving to death. Dinner use to be the biggest meal of the day for me, now it's lunch time. I have a high-protein breakfast like oatmeal, cottage cheese or yogurt. I'm having for lunch a lean cuisine, soup with added avocado for protein, or a salad with 1/4 - 1/2 cup of tuna salad. My snacks throughout the day are rice cakes, cottage cheese, 1 or 2 mini peppermint patties (yum), cheese stick, edamame, marinated veggies or some light coleslaw. Dinner has been salad, soup (homemade), nothing, or an actual dinner I made. I don't think I'm going down a bad path, I think I'm creating a new path that I've never been down before.

I'm still in my size 18 jeans, I'm dying to get into my 16's. I'm so close. I can get them on, but they are tight. That would probably only last 30 minutes but that's not the point. I want to put them on a feel good, feel comfy.

I'm still walking at lunch. Some days, like yesterday, I don't make it out. It was too windy, plus we have relay for life this weekend and I'll be walking a lot.

Weight: 221.5
Pant Size: 18 (baggy)
Attitude: Positive
Mood: Tired

Post Memorial Day Weekend Post

So I'm back. We had a wonderful weekend away from home. My son did wonderful on the trip up and we played, visited, ate, drank, and played in the pool. It was his first time in the pool, a little scary for him, but he did a great job.

I did much better with my food than I thought I would. I tried to order salads, fish, vegetables and just some more healthy alternatives than I normally would have gotten on this trip. I think only one dinner did I get a pasta dish and it was so rich I didn't finish half. That was my other goal, not to finish. It helps when I have my son right there and I'm juggling feeding him, occupying him and trying to feed myself. I walked, we moved, and we went swimming (briefly).

I had purchased a new swimsuit, a "dress suit". It's like having a little skirt on over your suit. This one actually.

Cute right? It covers some of the more embarrassing parts and definitely helped me to feel more confident. When I told my husband that I'd go in the water with our son, he was shocked, me in the water? I think he was a little proud. Plus I needed him to help distract and entertain our little boy who was a little nervous about this "really big bath tub".

Anyways, after the holiday weekend, I was very curios to get on the scale to see the damage done. I've never been so eager to jump on a scale.

Tuesday morning: 225 - Argh! But I was okay, that was my high range of "ok". I realized I didn't eat that bad, there is no way. I know I didn't drink enough water and I'm at "that time of the month". So I'll eat well on Tuesday and see what Wednesday morning brings me.

Wednesday morning (official weigh-in day): 223

Wheww.... that's better. I gained 1 pound over a 4-day holiday weekend. I'm happy with that. I didn't reach my goal of 221 by June 1st. But did I really think I'd lose 1 pound over the holiday? No. Could I have, Yes. Am I "ok" with the outcome? YES YES YES>

So this weeks weight, 223 with 27 pounds lost. Onwards and upwards people!